The Education
by Julie Horwitz
Summary: A year after "Love's Legacy," Princess Saranikash Thatch becomes a woman and her parents have to give her "the talk."


** Disclaimer: **

The following is a work of fanfiction. All characters and situations belonging to the animated feature film "Atlantis: the Lost Empire" are copyrighted to Disney Enterprises, Inc. Everything else, including original characters, is of my own creation.

** Author's Notes: **

This story is set in the future of my version of the "Atlantis" universe. It takes place approximately a year after "Love's Legacy." Although not necessary for the enjoyment of the story, it will help to be familar with my "Love's" trilogy in order to know who two of the main characters are and their history.  
This story is a comedy that deals with a character reaching physical maturity. In other words, the subject matter is slightly adult in nature. However there is no actual content. But I would advise younger readers to be cautious just because of the subject matter.  
In order to emphasize that the characters are not speaking English, I have placed Atlantean words throughout the story. A few of them are from the actual language while the rest are modifications of Hebrew. For your convenience, I am listing, in no particular order, all the words used:

Official Atlantean/ English   
Mahtihm = Mother  
Tahbtoap = Father  
Mahkijtuhg = King  
Moak = Great, big, powerful, grand  
Maht =Great, awesome, all right  
Alish = Child  
Soopuhk = Hello (formal)

Unofficial Atlantean/ English:   
Aifohm = Aunt  
Lahmahp = Uncle  
Havuut ="Uh-oh!", "oh no!"  
Buhdehtem = Games  
Hahtomm = Darling  
Yahyimn =Baby  
Estbah = Honest  
Sakeen = Wonderful  
Neekra = Dingbat (as in "you dingbat!")  
Damkoht = Bizarre  
Patoah = "Freak" (as in "freak out")  
Khayeem = "Yeesh!"  
Kavah= Hilarious  
Ahvodah = Disgusting  
Kapeet = Wuss, "scaredy cat"  
Ohmlah = Butt  
Keert = Suck (as in "you suck")  
Nahmoo = Spoilsport  
Kapeetaht = Wussy (as in more of a "scaredy cat")  
Gulahn = Pathetic

All comments and questions may be sent to me either by e-mail or through my author profile page.  
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the story.

** _ The Education _**   
by  
Julie Horwitz

Princess Saranikash Thatch, unenthusiastic heir to the throne of Atlantis (would she ever be able to escape her unwanted fate?), woke up feeling worse than she had when she had gone to bed the night before. The ache in her stomach had intensified into a ball of burning pain. She was in utter agony.

What in the name of all the gods was wrong with her?

For over a week now, she had been suffering from what she could only assume was some sort of illness, though it had to be the strangest one she had ever heard of or experienced. While she didn't actually _feel_ sick, she had two symptoms that wouldn't go away and were making her life miserable. The first and worst was what she could only describe as a "full-body ache." She hurt everywhere! And by everywhere, she literally meant _everywhere!_ With the exception of her skin and hair, there wasn't a part of her that didn't constantly throb. But luckily it was only a minor throb that so far she hadn't considered more than an annoyance...

Until this morning, that is.

Her second symptom was a complete lack of energy. She felt tired all of the time these days and it didn't make a difference how much she slept. Keeping her eyes open was a chore. (It was a good thing she was out of school for summer vacation! If just one of her teachers had caught her snoozing in class...) Most of her waking hours were spent thinking about going to bed!

For the life of her, she couldn't figure out what was going on with her body. What was causing her to feel this way? What had she done or hadn't done to bring on her condition? And, most importantly, would it ever go away?

She had realized immediately that going to a healer would be pointless. She had tried to use her own crystal on herself to alleviate the ache in her stomach and nothing had happened. Her crystal had glowed as it always did and she had felt the soothing energy, which could cure just about anything known in Atlantis, go into her body. The pain hadn't even slightly lessened. It was as if her crystal's energy had completely ignored it! She had never heard of the crystal not working before, yet she had now experienced it failing first hand. Obviously, whatever was wrong with her was immune to the crystal's healing properties. She could only assume that it would eventually go away on its own.

If ever...

And that was why she hadn't told anyone, not even her parents, about her problem. Why worry them over something they couldn't do anything about? (Knowing her parents, they would have confined her to bed and fussed over her like there was no tomorrow!) It had seemed like a good decision at the time since the pain and sleepiness had been more annoying than anything else and hadn't stopped her from performing any of her normal activities. (Chris actually _had_ suspected that something was wrong, but she had dropped the subject at Sarani's repeated insistence. Sarani knew her best friend not only could have pushed the issue but she could have gotten the truth from her mind. The fact that Chris hadn't said a lot about her.) Of course now that her pain was anything _but_ minor, she greatly regretted her silence.

The time had come to confess everything to her parents.

_They're so not going to be happy with me,_ she sighed to herself, wondering just what kind of reaction she'd get from them.

Keeping secrets was a big no-no in her family. After the whole thing with that scary Lyle guy last year, Mahtihm and Tahbtoap had decided to make keeping secrets a punishable offense. Any member of the royal family caught keeping a secret, Mahtihm and Tahbtoap themselves included, would suffer severe consequences. (Though she doubted any punishment could be worse than what she was already going through!)

Gritting her teeth against the pain, she pushed herself up into a sitting position, a move she immediately regretted as the movement made her feel even worse.

She hunched over and folded her arms over her aching stomach.

"Oww," she whimpered, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Why was this happening to her? Why was the universe punishing her this way? What had she ever done to deserve this kind of torture? She was a good person, wasn't she? She'd never hurt anyone. (Well, not intentionally anyway. How that guard had ever blamed her and Chris for the twisted ankle he had received while searching for them in the caves she still didn't understand. And why he hadn't let it go after more than five years was an even bigger mystery...) In fact, she and Chris had actually _saved_ Atlantis last year. So why was she suffering this way? Why did the gods hate her so?

Unless...

She straightened up with a start as the realization hit her.

There was only one thing she had spent her entire life doing that the gods (and probably even the kings of the past) would most certainly disapprove of and that was her rejection of her future role as queen of Atlantis.

An offense there was no question that _they_ would deem punishable...

"Moak mahkijtuhg," she murmured as the truth of her situation suddenly became very clear.

A supernatural cause for her illness was the only thing that really made sense. She was suffering from an unknown sickness that could not be cured by her crystal pendant, which was supposed to be able to cure anything. And since it was only getting worse instead of getting better...

But why start punishing her _now_? She had never wanted to be queen from the first time Mahtihm and Tahbtoap had told her of her birthright at a very young age. (She had known even then that she wasn't queen material.) She had no desire to have thousands of lives depending on her leadership. She could barely take care of herself! Did the gods really think that making her sick would change her mind?

And why were they fixating on her anyway? It wasn't like she was an only child and that there was no one else to ascend to the throne. With his attitude and personality, Preston was perfect for the kingship. He'd make a great leader! People already did everything he wanted! (Of course, it was the only way to get him to be quiet, but still!)

And why punish her for just _wishing_ she didn't have to be queen? It wasn't like she had any way out of it. Unless some miracle occurred and her parents decided that she didn't have to rule after all, she was stuck with a fate she would gladly give to anyone who wanted it. She had never heard of the gods being so cruel and petty before, but how else could this be happening to her?

As if reinforcing their low opinion of her, the agony in her stomach suddenly flared up, causing her to curl up into herself all over again.

Fresh tears rolled from her eyes.

Telling her parents about her sickness no longer seemed like such a good idea. They would probably just laugh at her for thinking such a "ridiculous" thing (after all, Tahbtoap and his friends had brought science to Atlantis years ago and people no longer believed that the gods were responsible for everything) and proceed to treat her like they always did when she was sick: confine her to bed and send for all the best healers until she was completely better.

Of course, when it became apparent that she wasn't getting any better...

She was startled out of her thoughts by a loud knock on her door.

"Sarani, is everything all right in there?" called her mahtihm's voice. "We have been waiting for you in the dining room for ten minutes. Why are you not up yet?"

_Havuut! Mahtihm!_

"Sarani?" Mahtihm called again. "Did you not hear me? You should have been up twenty minutes ago. Your breakfast is getting cold and you have your leadership lesson in an hour. And you know that Dylansh does not tolerate tardiness. Unless you are sick, there's no excuse for you to still be in bed, summer vacation or not."

Sarani knew she had to answer her mother, but she couldn't decide what she should say. Telling your mother that you were being punished by the gods wasn't exactly something you did through a closed door!

"Sarani," Mahtihm repeated, starting to sound annoyed that she wasn't getting a response. "I want you to answer me right now, young lady. You are an adult now and too old for these kinds of buhdehtem. Tell me what is going on. Why are you still in bed at this hour?"

Realizing she had literally run out of time, she finally decided that it was best to just tell her the truth.

At least part of it anyway!

"I...I'm sorry, Mahtihm. I'm not feeling well this morning. Please don't be angry with me."

Almost as soon as she had finished speaking, her door flew open (she had never seen the need to lock it) and Mahtihm rushed into the room, her annoyance having immediately transformed into concern. In less than two seconds, she had crossed the room and sat down on the bed right next to Sarani.

"Oh, my poor hahtomm," she solaced as she pulled her daughter into a tight embrace. "Tell me what is wrong, Sarani-toap. Are you in pain? Do you feel sick?"

Before Sarani had a chance to open her mouth, Mahtihm released her from her arms and placed a hand on her forehead. "At least you do not feel warm," she commented. "That is always a good sign."

"My stomach hurts really, really bad," she confessed, new tears trailing down her face. She would tell Mahtihm as much of the truth as she could without revealing her knowledge of her condition's divine origin. (It would be best to save that for much, much, _much_ later. ) "I just want it to go away."

"And that is exactly where it shall go," Mahtihm declared. "I will make sure of it." She hugged her again. "Oh, my sweet yahyimn. Why did you not come to Tahbtoap and me when you first woke up in such pain? How long did you lie in bed suffering all by yourself?"

Sarani cringed at the question. Mahtihm was about to get annoyed with her again.

"Well, um, I, um... My stomach's been hurting me for over a week."

She braced herself for Mahtihm's reaction.

"Over a week?" her mother exclaimed, instantly dropping the embrace, a horrified expression forming on her face. "You have been ill for over a week and you have not told either your tahbtoap or I? Oh, Sarani! You should know better than that by now! What in the name of all the gods were you waiting for?"

She flinched at the mention of the gods. "Because I didn't want to worry either of you. I didn't really hurt that bad until this morning. I thought it was just going to go away on it's own. I was okay until now. Estbah!"

Mahtihm sighed, shaking her head. "Oh, what are we going to do with you?"

"I'm sorry, Mahtihm."

Mahtihm leaned over and pulled her into her arms once again. "There is nothing to apologize for, my sweet one." She gave her a kiss on her cheek. "But you must never be afraid to come to either Tahbtoap or me with anything. You may be an adult now, but you will never be too old for us to take care of you. We are your parents and we love you very much."

"I love you too, Mahtihm."

Sarani buried herself deeply into Mahtihm's chest. She had always felt so safe in her mother's arms. If only they were as truly protective as she had always believed.

If only they could protect her from the wrath of the gods...

"I will have a message sent to Dylansh to let her know that you are not up to your lesson today," Mahtihm determined as she continued to hold her. "As important as your lessons are, they are not as important as your health."

_Not according to the gods,_ she silently disagreed. Apparently, the gods thought that _nothing_ was more important than her becoming queen.

"But first things first. If you are to get better as quickly as possible, you will need all of your strength. And the best way to build your strength is to get some food into your body," Mahtihm continued matter-of-factly. "So you will come downstairs with me right now and eat your breakfast."

"Yes, Mahtihm," she obediently agreed although she knew nothing would make her feel better ever again.

"Of course," Mahtihm added in a lighter tone, "there is the chance that your breakfast may no longer be on your plate. When I left to go check on you, I noticed that your brother had his eyes on it. I fear we may be too late."

Sarani giggled despite herself. Mahtihm wasn't kidding. In the mind of year old Preston, everything he could get his hands on was a toy. And when she said "everything", she was not exaggerating. Food, books, tools, small animals, and sometimes other children were all playthings as far as he was concerned. (The incident where he had gone after poor little Amaleen was still a vivid memory in everyone's minds. Aifohm Helga had banned Preston from her house for "the next thousand years.") Nothing was safe from the grasp of little Prince Preston.

"I hope Tahbtoap remembered to duck this time."

For a one year old, Preston had a powerful arm and an exceptional aim. (Yet another reason why he would make a better ruler than her!)

Mahtihm seemed to consider that. "Knowing my Milo, very unlikely."

Sarani giggled again. Mahtihm always knew how to cheer her up.

If only she knew how to make the gods forgive her...

"Maht," Mahtihm said, kissing her on the head before releasing her from her arms as she stood up from the bed. "It is time for you to eat. Come. Let me help you from your bed."

Mahtihm then proceeded to pull the blanket off of her and Sarani just happened to glance down at her newly uncovered body...

And let out a blood-curdling scream at the sight that greeted her.

((((())))))

"Sarani has wh-what?" Milo Thatch stammered as his wife, the queen of all Atlantis, joyfully danced around their private chambers in a significantly less than queenly manner.

There was no way-_no way_-that he had possibly heard her right.

It made absolutely no sense whatsoever!

"Our Sarani has finally become a woman!" Kida gleefully repeated as she continued her energetic twirling, verifying that he _had_ in fact heard her correctly. (What in the world was she talking about?) "Is that not the most sakeen news? I have waited so long for this special day!"

"Um, Kida, hahtomm," Milo managed despite his shock at her bizarre behavior (Had the unthinkable happened and Kida lost her mind? He knew she was under constant pressure as queen, but _still_!), "Sarani already _is_ a woman. Remember her-her birthday party last year, the one where she turned thirteen? You declared her an adult yourself that day. Remember?"

Kida immediately stopped her dancing and came over to where he was standing.

"Yes, my Milo, that is when she was declared an adult," she verified. "But only an adult. She was not yet a woman. That did not happen until today."

"Um..." It was obvious that he was missing something here, but what could it be? (Thankfully, he was wrong about her being crazy! Crazy people didn't rationally answer questions, even if the answers led him to even more questions!) He was positive that the noun "woman" meant "adult female" as it did in every language that he knew. Had he been mistranslating the Atlantean equivalent for all this time? (After nearly fifteen years of living among the Atlanteans, it seemed there was still a lot he had to learn!)

"Do you not understand what has happened?" Kida pressed when she received no further response. "Our daughter is a woman now. A _woman._"

"Um," he repeated, furiously wracking his brain for the knowledge Kida was certain he possessed.

But it wasn't until she crossed her arms and gave him the "look" that it hit him.

"Oh. _Oh!_"

His daughter was actually old enough for _that_? He'd known for years that people were considered adults at a much younger age here than on the surface, but this crucial part of adulthood had never even crossed his mind. (He was still scarred from his _own_ coming of age!) And now it had unexpectedly arrived and his sweet little Sarani was no longer his little girl. She was a grown woman! Just thinking about it made his head spin!

"Her first bleeding time is finally upon her," Kida confirmed, reinforcing his shock. "Our first born is no longer a child in age or body. She is at long last an independent member of society."

"And just what does that mean? Exactly?" he asked, though he was terrified to hear the answer.

"It means that we are no longer obligated by law to support her in all ways," she informed him. "And she is no longer obligated to obey us in all ways. If she wanted, she could leave the palace and begin her own life in the city."

"And you're-you're..._excited_ about this?"

Milo still didn't understand why this was making her so happy, especially if it meant that Sarani was now supposed to go out and live on her own. There was no way his utterly vulnerable daughter could survive an hour, much less a _day_ without her parents to support and protect her. She could barely handle the daily trials and tribulations of palace life!

"Of course," Kida answered, clearly not sharing any of his worries. "Our yahyimn has just reached an important milestone in her life. Why would I not be?" She paused, her eyes sweeping over him. "But you are not, my Milo. Why?"

"Um, okay, you just told me that our thirteen year old daughter who still cries at the drop of a-a hat is ready to go and start her own life in the city," he reminded her. "And you see nothing alarming about that?"

"Oh, my Milo," Kida sighed, some of her excitement visibly fading away as she realized her husband did not share her opinion of the occasion, "that is not what I said at all. I said she could start her own life if she chose, not that she _had_ to. Did you honestly believe I would do that to her? I know our Sarani's weaknesses as well as you do. She is far from ready to leave our home despite her full adult status. And I expect she may not be ready for centuries to come."

At that last, Milo couldn't help but comment, "You know, for some parents that would be the ultimate nightmare."

She chuckled. "We are indeed blessed to have such a well-behaved daughter. It is a rare thing to have a child who would never willingly disobey her parents."

"'Willingly' is definitely the word," Milo grinned. "I think we both know who's to blame for ever single instance of Sarani getting in trouble."

"Helga assures me Chris has been very well-behaved herself lately," Kida gently defended her daughter's best friend. "Remember, she has been a woman herself for an entire year. Plus there is the fact that she has a younger sister now with a second sibling on the way. I believe these things have all gone a long way in maturing her."

"Gee, you think if we had another one it would get Preston to start maturing too?" he jokingly asked, unable to resist the golden opportunity to remind his wife that not all of their children were perfect angels.

"Milo!" Kida cried, sounding absolutely mortified. "Preston is only a year old! At least wait until he is much older before you pass such judgment on him. He is too young to get into trouble."

"Oh, really?" he shot back, a very long list of his son's "crimes" immediately coming to mind. (For a baby, Preston had collected quite a large number of mortal enemies!) "But back to our now grown-up daughter," he quickly changed the subject, realizing that this was not the time to play teasing games despite being the one to start it. "You were going to tell me why you're so excited today."

"Of course," she agreed. "It is because of my own first bleeding time. Like Sarani, I was terrified of what was happening to me and the only person I had to turn to was my father. Tahbtoap... He...

"I know that my father loved me very much," she continued, "but he did not possess the proper...skills to..._gently_ tell me that I was a woman now and all of the things that it meant. I know I told you long ago that he had a midwife explain lovemaking to me. What I did not tell you what that he himself told me the rest.

"And the way he explained it to me made me vow to myself that if I ever had a daughter of my own I would do it in the exact _opposite_ way."

"How-how did he explain it to you?" Milo asked, curious if her experience had truly been worse than his own. (_No, not possible,_ he decided. No one could have been more blunt than Grandpa!)

"More horrible than you can possibly imagine," she assured him. "He... He... He gave me detailed descriptions of every body part related to gender and what its function was. And by detailed I do mean _detailed._ He used...anatomic illustrations!"

"No!" Milo gasped, conceding that she had indeed gone through a worse trauma than his own. Grandpa had only explained things to him. But show him pictures? No, not even Grandpa would have been that cluelessly cruel!

"I know he was only trying to be helpful," she said, "but I did not need to know _everything_ on that day. It was far too much for my young mind to handle. Thankfully the midwife who explained lovemaking to me was much more tactful in what she told me.

"It made it so much nicer when I experienced the finer details firsthand," she smiled at him. "Do you not agree?"

Milo blushed at the memory of their wedding night. "Oh, I do."

"So you see why today is so important to me?" she went on. "Today is the day I can ensure our daughter does not go through the same torment as I did. I can right the wrong that was committed upon me so long ago. Saranikash will not suffer as I suffered."

"I do," he assured her, at last understanding her behavior. (Heck, _he_ was starting to feel the same way! If he, like Kida, could correct an accidental mistake that was made long ago...)

"I have been planning this day ever since she was born," she confessed. "I know exactly what I am going to tell her and in what order. And if any of it proves to be too much for one day, I know exactly where to stop in any one session."

"Wow" was all Milo could think to say.

"I do not want this day to haunt our daughter as it has haunted me."

Now that he understood what was going on with his wife, he couldn't help but be impressed. Kida had lived with the need to correctly lead a daughter through her coming of age for thousands of years. And now the time had come to satisfy that need.

He understood it _completely_...

"So, you want any help?"

((((())))))

_Will you stop laughing already?_ Sarani wailed as her best friend Christine Nohlis continued to laugh hysterically at her misfortune. (It was bad enough she was in excruciating pain, but did she really have to be laughed at too?) _It's not that funny!_

Chris' only response was to laugh even harder.

_Some supportive friend _you_ are,_ Sarani huffed.

She supposed she should have known that this was the reaction she would get from Chris when she told her about this morning's "incident." Not only was Chris older by three months, but she was more worldly in general and knew lots of stuff that Sarani didn't. (Some things by choice. They may be best friends, but they sure didn't share every interest!) _Her_ parents probably didn't keep stuff like this from her. (And, she probably hadn't freaked out and thought she was being punished by the gods when she had her first bleeding time either!) If she was Chris, she probably would have found it funny too.

Not that that realization made her feel any better!

_Stop!_

_Okay, okay,_ Chris complied, clearly struggling to contain her laughter. _I'm sorry. Jeez! But even you have to admit that your divine punishment theory was a little extreme even for you._

_Hey, it made perfect sense to me at the time!_ Sarani defended herself. _You try hurting all over for an unknown reason and have your crystal fail at making it go away and you see what explanation you come up with for it._

_Or you could have, oh, I don't know, just told someone,_ Chris nonchalantly pointed out. _You know, like your mahtihm or tahbtoap? Even me, for crying out loud! Why didn't you?_

_Um... Because... Because, I, um, didn't want anyone worrying about me,_ Sarani admitted, feeling herself turning red even though Chris was across the city in her own house and couldn't see her. (Having a telepathic best friend had it's advantages!)

_Oh, for the love of the Heart,_ Chris groaned. _You can really be a neekra sometimes, Princess!_

_Hey, stop calling me that!_

_I still can't believe Aifohm Kida never told you about getting your period,_ Chris said, deftly changing the subject and ignoring (on purpose, no doubt!) Sarani's protest of her most hated nickname. _My mahtihm told me all about it when I was eleven. I would've thought all mothers told their daughters about it._

_You've met my mahtihm, right?_ Sarani put in. _And speaking of not believing things, _I_ can't believe my best friend didn't tell me when _she_ got her first period. Whatever happened to sharing everything?_

_The sharing stops when the sharer knows that the sharee would be totally grossed out in less than ten seconds,_ Chris informed her matter-of-factly. _You forget, Miss "I-totally-hate-anything-icky," that I know you too well. You would have _begged_ me to change the subject. You know I'm right._

And she did, much to her own dismay. (She _was_ easily grossed out. She couldn't even stay in the room when Preston was getting his diaper changed!)

_Plus there's the fact that Mahtihm told me you don't publicly talk about that kind of thing in Atlantis,_ Chris added. _She was very insistent about it too._

_Aifohm Helga has some really damkoht ideas about what you can and can't talk about in public,_ Sarani commented.

Aifohm Helga had a long list of "impolite topics" that weren't supposed to be discussed outside the privacy of your own home that Chris had shared with her over the years. Sarani herself hadn't even heard of most of them. (Which had never surprised Chris very much.)

_Tell me about it. But I just smile and nod to make her happy,_ Chris told her. _You know what Mahtihm's life was like before she came to Atlantis. If creating all sorts of crazy rules make her happy, so be it. As long as she doesn't patoah out over my whereabouts anymore, I don't care._

_Um, hello? You're an adult now. She can't stop you from doing _anything_ anymore,_ Sarani reminded her. _Which, now that I think about it, isn't any different from before except now you can't get in trouble for it._

_Yeah. Isn't adulthood great?_

Sarani shook her head. Only Chris would see becoming an adult as an excuse to continue her usual behavior...

Despite her pain, a smile appeared on Sarani's face as she suddenly got an idea to pay Chris back for making fun of her punishment theory.

_You know,_ she began in a thoughtful tone, _I was always under the impression that when you reached adulthood that you were supposed to act differently._

_Oh, really? Whatever gave you that idea?_

_Just listening to other adults talk,_ Sarani casually told her. _Something about adulthood equaling maturity or something like that._

_Is there a point to this or are you just trying to steer our conversation away from your little problem?_ Chris wanted to know. _Don't think I'm not onto you..._Princess.

_You wish,_ Sarani tried to think without projecting to Chris. (Too bad she had no idea whether or not she had succeeded!) Openly, she continued, _No, seriously! Hear me out! I've been thinking about this._

_Thinking, huh? Well, I guess there _is_ something to that maturity stuff after all,_ Chris replied. _Please, go on. Tell me your royal thoughts on the subject of adulthood._

_Well, I was thinking about the difference in the age of adulthood in Atlantis vs. on the surface,_ she elaborated, ignoring the "royal thoughts" comment. _Here it's thirteen and on the surface it's eighteen._

_Okay._

_Well, it's that you were just telling me that even though you're an adult here that you still act like a alish,_ Sarani went on, smirking. _And since both of your parents are from the-_

_If you want to live to see your fourteenth birthday, you better not finish that sentence..._Princess. Chris cut her off.

_What? I'm not allowed to point out that you're a fake adult and that your mahtihm still has every right to punish you for disobeying?_ Sarani finished smugly.

_Okay, that's it,_ Chris retorted. _Next time we meet, you're dead!_

_Hey, you can't threaten me! I'm sick!_

Chris snorted. _If you're sick, then I'm married with ten kids. And you're still going to get it, Princess._

_I really need a new best friend,_ Sarani mock-sighed. So much for getting her revenge!

_You mean one that would fawn all over you and treat you like the royal pain that you are?_ Chris suggested. _Nah. You'd miss me too much!_

_Scarily, I think you're right._

_No, not think. _Know.

_Whatever you say!_

_So, what exactly did your mahtihm tell you about this wonderful new phase of life you've entered?_ Chris redirected the conversation once again. _Did she give you the sex talk yet?_

Sarani's eyes widened.

_The what?_

_I'll take that as a 'no,'_ Chris determined. _She did tell you what getting your period means, right?_

_She hasn't really told me anything,_ Sarani answered cautiously, more than a little unsettled by the mention of a "sex talk." (What in the name of the gods was _that_?) _Just that I'm a woman now._

Suddenly, Chris gave one of her evil laughs and Sarani's stomach dropped.

_Sarani, Sarani, Sarani,_ Chris said and Sarani could just picture her shaking her head. _You, my friend, are in for one heck of an interesting conversation with your mother._

_Wh-what do you mean by that?_ she asked nervously.

Chris was _really_ starting to scare her! What the heck was happening to her? Why was she mysteriously bleeding from the place where she relieved herself and why did it mean that she was a woman? And why was Mahtihm so excited about it? (She hadn't considered it a bad thing because of Mahtihm's happiness over it, but what if Mahtihm was just trying to protect her as usual?)

_You'll find out,_ Chris answered cryptically.

_No! I don't want to wait to find out! I want you to tell me now!_ Sarani pleaded.

_And ruin the surprise when Aifohm Kida drops the bomb on you? No way!_

_Chris! Please!_

_Uh-uh. Suck it up, Princess!_

_No!_ she protested. _You have to tell me now, Chris! Please!_

She was now more frightened than she had been _before_ she knew that what was happening to her was natural!

_Not my place,_ Chris declared. _The honor is all your mahtihm's._

_Please, Chris! Please! Please, please, please, please, please!_

_Fine!_ Chris surrendered. _Khayeem! You win, Princess. I'll tell you all about the birds and the bees._

_The birds and the bees?_ Sarani repeated, suddenly confused. _What do surface insects have to do with anything?_

Chris' only answer was to give another spine-chilling laugh.

And Sarani began to regret ever asking for her help...

((((())))))

"Are you ready?" Kida questioned as she and Milo arrived at Sarani's closed bedroom door.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Milo answered truthfully. "This isn't exactly the easiest thing to talk about with anyone and we're about to discuss it with our overly-sensitive thirteen-year-old daughter. I think I'm less nervous when we have to give public addresses!"

Kida giggled. "You will be fine, my Milo. You are one of the strongest teachers I know. If anyone can help me explain lovemaking and having babies to our daughter in a way that will not frighten her, it is you. However, it is quite natural to feel nervous about something like this."

"So says the one who is perfectly calm," he retorted. "If it's so-so natural, why aren't you nervous too?"

"As I have told you, I have waited thirteen years for this moment," she reminded him. "This is my chance to set right a great wrong made by my father. I cannot fail." She then reached out and took both of his hands in her own. "And with you by my side, I know I will not." She smiled at him. "Thank you again for doing this with me. You honor me with your presence."

Milo's offer to help her have this delicate conversation with their daughter had been unexpected but more than welcome. She knew that one small mistake would condemn her poor Sarani to suffer as she had suffered, but with Milo's help, she was confident that no mistakes would be made. He knew her fears and concerns and he would be there to make sure everything went as planned.

"Hey, we do everything else together. Why not this too?" Milo lightly teased, giving her hands a squeeze. He then smiled back and added, "Oh, and you're welcome."

Shaking her head and releasing his hands, she said, "Let us proceed."

She turned her attention to the door and knocked.

"Sarani? Sweetheart? Your tahbtoap and I have something we need to discuss with you. May we come in?"

"Y-yes," came the weak reply.

Kida shook her head at the sound of Sarani's voice. While sympathetic to her plight, it was her own fault that she felt this bad. It could have all been avoided if she had come to her or Milo a week ago when she had started feeling poorly. One examination by a healer would have revealed her impending womanhood and she could have been taking herbs for the pain all along. Because she had tried to keep her condition a secret, she was needlessly suffering now.

"Do you think we should come back later?" Milo asked, sounding unsure of what to do. "She doesn't sound too good."

"It will not make a difference," she informed him. "The herbs will have taken effect by now, but they can only do so much, especially for the pain of a first bleeding time. The first is always the most painful. She will not start feeling better until perhaps tomorrow, but this conversation cannot wait until then. It must be done today."

Milo nodded. "All right. You're the expert." He gestured towards the door. "Lead the way."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You will do fine, my Milo. And remember, in several years we will have to do this all over again with Preston."

"Don't remind me!"

She gave a little laugh and opened the door and stepped through.

Her eyes immediately sought out Sarani, who she found sitting up in her bed and looking even more pale than she had this morning.

_Poor thing,_ Kida thought, mentally shaking her head again at what Sarani's own silliness had brought upon herself.

"H-hi," she greeted her parents with a weak smile.

"Hello, sweet one," Kida returned the greeting. "How are you feeling?"

"I hurt," Sarani told her. "Not as bad as before, but still a lot."

"I know you do," Kida sympathized, walking over and having a seat on the edge of the bed. "It is an unfortunate part of a woman's bleeding time." She took her daughter's hands in her own. "But take comfort in knowing that over the years the pain will begin to lessen."

Sarani paled even more before nodding her understanding.

Kida turned to Milo, who nodded at her, indicating that he was ready to begin whenever she was. Deciding that there was no point in waiting any longer, she refocused her attention on Sarani.

"Saranikash, today marks the day of your entrance into full adulthood," Kida began, still holding her hands. "Your first bleeding time indicates that your body has reached physical maturity. Do you understand what that means?"

Sarani hesitated a second before shaking her head. "N-no."

"It means that you are now able to have children."

Sarani's eyes widened and she paled again, but she did not say anything, which did not surprise her mother at all. (Sarani had two basic reactions when she was feeling overwhelmed: she either cried or she became silent.) She had gone in knowing that this would most likely be a one-sided conversation.

"Because of this fact, you will find yourself having new emotions and urges towards men," Kida continued matter-of-factly, releasing Sarani's hands. "This is your body's way of making its natural drive to reproduce known to you. But it will be your responsibility to recognize these thoughts and feelings for what they are and to know how to control them. There are certain things you must never do with a man unless you are married to him because they will lead to having children. Does this make sense to you?"

Sarani nodded mutely, her eyes still wide and her face still pale.

"Good," Kida smiled as she stood up from the bed and walked over to where Milo, who was looking as pale and shaken as Sarani, was standing. (The man was as bad as his daughter! Kida could only mentally shake her head at him.) "Now, in order to understand why you must never do those things of which we will speak of later, you must understand how a child is conceived." She turned to her husband. "Would you like to explain the man's role to her?"

"Um, no, that-that's okay," he waved her off in a shaky voice. "You go right ahead. I'll-I'll let you know if there's something I want to add."

"Very well," she accepted, highly amused at his discomfort. (This was a man who had been married for nearly fourteen years and had fathered two children. Why was talking about something so natural still so nerve-wracking for him?) She turned back to Sarani. "It takes both a man and a woman to create a child within the woman's body. They achieve this by performing what is known as 'making love.' I do not believe you have heard this term before, have you?"

Sarani shook her head, her expression and pallor unchanged.

_But you have seen it,_ Kida mentally smiled, remembering the day an eight-year-old Sarani had accidentally walked in on Milo and herself in the middle of an early morning lovemaking session. Luckily, she had not actually seen anything, but the experience had been enough to make her wary of coming into their bedroom for months afterward. (She still knocked and announced herself to this day.)

Aloud, she continued, "I will explain the act of making love to you in greater detail at a later time, but the part that is crucial to the creation of a baby occurs when a certain male body part, which I will also tell you about later, is placed inside a woman's body through the opening located between her legs. You are of course familiar with this opening because it is where you relieve yourself. It is also from where you are bleeding.

"This is because that opening leads to the place in a woman's body called the womb," Kida explained, proud of herself for so far having not repeated any of Tahbtoap's mistakes. It was at this time he had pulled out the illustrations of the naked man and woman... "The womb is where a baby grows. The man's body part is used to send his...his..." She paused trying to remember the proper word for what came out the man's body, but nothing came to mind. She turned to Milo for his assistance.

"E-essence," he supplied, turning very, _very_ red. "A man's essence."

Although this did not sound correct, she thanked him anyway and returned her attention to Sarani.

"The man's essence is sent into the woman's body where it joins with an egg," she said, using the only word she had at the moment. (She just _knew_ she would remember the correct term hours later.) "The two become one and that one is what will, in nine months' time, grow into a new baby. And as it grows, it is protected and nourished by the womb until it is time for it to be born. Does this make sense?"

Sarani nodded mutely.

"Once a girl reaches womanhood, her body must ensure that it is always in perfect condition to have a baby," Kida continued, moving back towards Sarani's bed. "That is why at the end of every month, the womb freshens itself by discarding its protective layer. This is what causes your bleeding time. The blood that is flowing out of your body is simply the old protective layer. Does this also make sense to you?"

Another silent nod.

"It is painful because your muscles must squeeze the layer out of your womb, much the same way they will squeeze a baby out as well," she added. "The pain you are feeling now is nothing compared to the pain of childbirth." She could not help but smile as she gazed at her first-born. "But it is pain that is soon forgotten as your baby is lying in your arms for the first time."

Sarani seemed to smile back in return for a brief instant, but the movement of her lips was too small to be certain.

Refocusing her thoughts on her motherly duty, Kida asked, "Do you have any questions for me?" though she was certain she already knew what her daughter's answer would be.

The predicted wordless shake of the head confirmed her suspicion.

"Your bleeding time is only the first of the many changes your body will go through as it prepares itself for childbearing," Kida went on. She placed her hands on her own decent-sized bosom. "Your breasts will take shape so any baby you have will be able to feed. Once you have a baby, your breasts will fill with milk which they cannot do if they are flat." She moved her hands to her waist. "Your hips will become more defined as your body makes better room for a baby to grow inside you as well as to be born." She let her hands fall away, unsure of where to draw her daughter's attention for the next item on her list. "You will also begin to grow hair in many places where you currently do not have it. Under your arms and on your legs as well as between them."

Kida shuddered as she remember the set of illustrations that had gone with _this_ part of Tahbtoap's lecture. Sarani had no idea how truly lucky she was!

"There are other minor changes that will occur," she continued, nearing her first planned stopping point. (She wondered if she should push on to the second despite Sarani's clearly overwhelmed state.) "Your voice will slightly deepen and your features will become more defined. You may get taller.

"And because of these physical changes, men will begin to see you as a potential mate," she segued into the final portion of the first lesson. (_I will stop after this,_ she decided as she observed Sarani's expression grow noticeably uncomfortable at her words. _She has had enough for one day._) "And you will begin to feel the same about men. This is where those urges and emotions I told you about earlier come in. Men experience the same things as women. However, they are not able to control them as well which is why it is so important for you as a woman to know what is right. And as I have already told you, there are certain things you must not do with a man unless he is your husband because they will lead to making love. Do you understand what I am saying to you, Saranikash?"

This was the most crucial lesson that her daughter had to learn and there was no moving forward until she was satisfied that Sarani understood it. Although it was true that there was little danger of her coming across a man like that here in Atlantis, it was always better to be safe than sorry.

Sarani swallowed before managing in a very quiet voice, "Y-yes, Mahtihm. I-I understand."

"I am very glad," Kida told her, relieved to at last hear Sarani speak again. It meant that she was starting to slowly process everything she had been told. (Though she was slightly puzzled by Sarani's reaction to this last topic. Why was talk of romance bothering her so?) "When you are in love, you will want to express that love in every way possible, but you must never go further than kissing and hugging until you are married." She turned her head to look at an extremely red Milo. "Because once you start, it is very difficult to stop."

Milo visibly swallowed and she couldn't help but laugh. Her poor husband was clearly as uncomfortable as her daughter. (There was no question which of her parents she favored more!)

As sorry as she was for his embarrassment, she would never be able to properly express her gratitude to him for simply being here with her. She did not think she could have done this as smoothly if not for his presence.

"Many men will want to keep going despite knowing that it is wrong," she resumed her instruction, "but it will be your responsibility to tell them to stop. And if a man truly loves you, he will."

Ironically, she had never run into that situation with Milo during their admittedly short courtship and engagement. Lovemaking had not even occurred to him until she had brought it up herself on their wedding night! Only her Milo!

"And once you find the man you know you want to spend the rest of your life with," she continued, lovingly glancing at her husband once again, "he will be the only one you desire to share you body with in that way."

"And it-it's the same for men too," Milo finally spoke up, moving closer to where she was standing. "True love is a-a very powerful thing. You'll never want to be with anyone else ever again."

"And as it was for your tahbtoap and I, there may only be the one for you as well," she added, reaching out and taking his hand. "And that is one of the rarest and most special kinds of love in the world."

She remembered the first moment she had ever laid eyes on him. She had been instantly drawn to him before they had shared a single word.

"But what if.. What if..." Sarani started to say before trailing off. "N-never mind."

"Never mind what, my sweet one?" Kida gently pressed, eager for any kind of reaction from Sarani. What thought had crossed her mind that she was reluctant to speak of?

Sarani's expression briefly grew more stricken.

"It-it's nothing. Really," she said, apparently eager for them to forget she had spoken at all.

"Sarani," Kida said firmly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "Tell us what is troubling you. We cannot help you if you do not tell us."

Sarani switched her gaze back and forth between her parents before swallowing again. "What if I don't want to fall in love or get married? I... I don't have to, do I?"

So _that_ was what was bothering her! Sarani had somehow gotten the impression that she was supposed to get into a relationship immediately because she was a woman now! (Yes, she had indeed chosen the best place to stop this initial lesson!) How that had happened, she had no idea.

"Oh, my hahtomm," Kida said with the barest hint of laughter. (As hard as she was trying to mask her amusement, it was impossible to hide it all. Of all the things Sarani could have become upset about!) "Of course you do not have to do either. No one can ever force you to fall in love against your will." She began to stroke her daughter's hair. "Love is just something that happens whether or not you want it to. Look at Tahbtoap and myself. Neither of us were looking to fall in love when we met but we did and it is my opinion that it is one of the best things that ever happened to me."

"Me too," Milo seconded as he joined them on the bed. "I came to Atlantis looking for one thing and found your mahtihm instead. She was the greatest discovery I could have ever made."

"And out of that love came something even more sakeen," Kida added. "You and your brother."

Sarani gave a small smile.

"I hope you know how much we love the both of you," she continued.

"I-I do," Sarani told her. "I love all of you too."

Kida gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You are still so very young and you have your entire life ahead of you. Do not worry about something you cannot control. If you are meant to fall in love, it will happen when it happens. If not, then it was not meant to be. You do not need to think about something that has not happened to you yet.

"Now," Kida announced, changing the subject, "I think it is time for you to get some more rest. A woman's bleeding time is exhausting as it is and you have just received a great deal of new information that has no doubt worn you out even more. Sleep will be the best thing for you."

Sarani looked surprised at the sudden change in subject. "It-it's over? You don't have anything else to tell me?"

"Not today," Kida told her and relief immediately appeared on Sarani's face. "I think the rest can wait until another time."

"Can it wait until I'm much, much older?" Sarani asked hopefully.

"I am afraid not, sweetheart," Kida informed her with a gentle laugh. "These are things that all young women need to hear at the start of their first bleeding time. When-" She quickly caught herself. "_If_ you become a mother, you will understand why."

"If it makes you feel any better," Milo added, "boys have to hear the same thing when they become men."

"When is that?" Sarani asked, sounding genuinely curious. "Do they have something like a bleeding time?"

"Um..."

"Boys' bodies are very different from girls'," Kida interrupted, saving Milo from having to answer. (His face was now the brightest shade of red she had ever seen.) "But now is not the time to discuss that. You have some sleeping to do, young lady. So lay back down so I can fix your blankets."

Understanding that she would not be getting an answer to her question, Sarani did as she was told and stretched herself out under her covers.

Smiling, Kida adjusted her pillow and blankets before giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"Go to sleep now, yahyimn," she gently commanded before standing up. She tugged on Milo's arm to signal that he should do the same. "We will check on you later."

"Okay, Mahtihm. I love you. And you too, Tahbtoap."

"As we love you, Sweetheart," Milo said. "Now listen to your mother and do as she says. She knows best."

Sarani giggled.

Rolling her eyes, Kida quietly murmured to Milo, "Let us go."

Milo nodded and followed her as she started towards the door.

Kida's relief and excitement grew with every step she took. She had done it! She had truly done it! She had managed to avoid every single one of Tahbtoap's mistakes! And even more wonderful, she had not made any new ones of her own! Everything had gone better than she could have ever hoped.

And she owed her success to one very special person...

As she reentered the hallway, she moved slightly the side and waited for Milo to come out of the room. Within seconds, he appeared and as he finished pulling the door closed behind him, Kida threw her arms around him.

"We did it!" she cried triumphantly as he tried to regain his balance. (Her sudden move had nearly knocked him over. It was not her fault that he had retained his scholarly physique after all these years!) "You were wonderful in there, my Milo!" She began to kiss his face repeatedly as she used her arms to steady him. "Thank you so much for sharing this with me! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"Um, you're welcome," Milo tried to say between her kisses. "But I don't know why you're thanking me. I really didn't do anything in there. You were the one who did all the talking, not me. I just made a couple of comments, that's all. It was entirely your show."

"You are wrong, my Milo," she informed him, breaking off her kisses but not releasing him from her arms. "You did more than you know. I would not have been able to say a single word if it were not for your being there with me. You are my strength. I am nothing without you."

"Aww, Kida," Milo blushed. "That's very sweet, but you're giving me too much credit here. It was all you. I really didn't do anything."

Kida raised an eyebrow. "Are you implying that I am lying to you, my Milo?"

Milo hesitated before answering as if trying to determine whether or not she was being serious. "N-no," he said slowly. "I would never do that."

"Good," she agreed, giving him another kiss, this time on the lips. "I would hate to have to punish you for doubting me."

Milo's eyes widened in mock shock. (She could tell he now knew she was only teasing him.) "P-punish?" he replied with a genuine-sounding stammer.

"Of course," she answered with a smirk on her lips. "How else would I make you suffer for your crime? Doubting your wife is the greatest of all offenses." She kissed him again, more deeply this time. "But I would much rather show you my gratitude for the assistance you deny you gave me. I believe you will find the process most enjoyable, my husband."

"Hey, I'll take gratitude over punishment any day," he informed her. "You can thank me in any way you want."

"Your wish is my command," she told him, proceeding to kiss him deeply on the lips yet again and running her hands along his back.

Milo went limp against her before beginning to return her ministrations.

When she broke the kiss, she said to a breathless Milo, "This is quite fitting for this special occasion, do you not agree?"

"Oh, I agree. I so _very_ much agree."

She giggled and released him from her arms so she could take him by the hand.

"Come. Let us go where we will not be disturbed so I can thank you properly."

"Lead the way."

((((())))))

Chris waited until she felt Lahmahp Milo and Aifohm Kida leave the room before she allowed herself to give into the laughter that had been burning inside of her since the entire conversation had begun. (More than a few giggles had escaped, much to Sarani's dismay, but she had tried really hard to clamp down on the rest, which had _not_ been easy!)

_Oh my gods!_ she howled, both out loud (it was a good thing Mahtihm and Tahbtoap weren't home!) and telepathically. _Oh my gods! Where in the world did they get their version of 'the talk' from? Two year olds? Oh my gods! That was kavah!_

She continued to laugh hysterically, nearly falling off of the chair she was sitting in. The entire incident had been priceless! She'd had a feeling that Aifohm Kida would simplify the facts for Sarani (which was why she was glad she had been the one to tell her the real version first) but nothing could have prepared her for how much! Neither she nor Lamahp Milo had used one proper body part name. In fact, they had actually _avoided_ talking about them at all! It was kind of sad, really. How in the world did they expect Sarani to understand what they didn't want her to do if they didn't explain it to her clearly? They had freaked Sarani out without even telling her what she _really_ should be freaked out over!

_I fail to see what's so funny,_ Sarani complained over her continuous laughter. _So what if they weren't as graphic as you? They still got the same ahvodah ideas across. Eew! I am so never doing any of that!_

_Whatever happened to you wanting to marry my tahbtoap?_ Chris challenged, reminding her of something she had said only last year. _I seem to recall you were willing to steal him away from Mahtihm. And I also seem to remember something about thinking Cookie was your type of man as well._

_That was before I knew what marriage involved,_ she defended herself. _Yuck! No way am I ever doing any of that with a man!_

_Oh, that's right,_ Chris said. _You're never ever going to fall in love or get married. When did _that_ happen, Princess?_

_The moment I opened my big fat mouth and begged you to tell me everything_ Sarani informed her. _Ugh! The images you put in my head!_

Chris snickered. _Considering you've never even _seen_ a single one of the things described to you, I find it hard to imagine you having images of them in your head._

An evil grin formed on her lips. _Too bad your parents didn't do for you what my mahtihm did for me: she gave me a mirror to check myself out so I'd know what she was talking about._

_Aifohm Helga did what?_ Sarani practically shrieked.

Chris gave a laugh to match her grin. (This was just _too_ easy!) _And then she had me touch myself so I could really get to know my body._

_Eww!_

_Don't knock it until you try it, Princess,_ Chris causally continued. (She knew what she was doing was mean, but she was having way too much fun to stop just yet!) _Hey, if you don't know what you like-_

_I don't want to hear this!_ Sarani wailed. _Gross, gross, gross!_

_You're such a kapeet,_ Chris declared, deciding to tone it down for the moment. (It wouldn't do for the royal heir to die of a heart attack before her fourteenth birthday!) _So, you're really serious about never falling in love? _Ever?

_Not if it means doing any of those ahvodah things you and my parents told me about,_ Sarani asserted. _Yuck!_

Unable to resist, Chris just had to put in, _There must be _something_ to it, otherwise my parents wouldn't do it so much._

_Eww!_ Sarani repeated. _I did _not_ just hear you say that!_

_What? It's not like they can really hide it from me,_ Chris continued. _Being telepathic has it perks. Plus, they can, you know, be really, _really_ loud at times._

_Eww!_ Sarani exclaimed again for good measure. _I think I'm going to be sick._

_Poor, poor baby,_ Chris consoled, loving every second of what she was doing to her best friend. _I guess I shouldn't mention that your parents are just as bad as mine._

_I so hate you right now,_ Sarani let her know. _I swear you're gonna get it next time I see you. Right in the ohmlah, too!_

_As if I haven't heard that one before,_ Chris shot back, grinning. _Would you like me to come over right now so you can try and fail miserably?_

_You don't think I can get you?_

_Princess, I _know_ you can't,_ she told her. _You might as well give up right now._

_I'm a new woman today, remember? Maybe I'll surprise you._

_Uh-huh,_ Chris replied in a bored tone. _That'll be the day._

_You keert!_

_Why thank you!_

_Why do I even bother?_ Sarani groaned.

_Do you really want me to answer that?_ Chris shot back.

_Not if you were the last person in Atlantis,_ Sarani informed her.

_Nahmoo!_ Chris mock-pouted.

She sensed Sarani getting ready to retort, but before she could say anything she gave a big yawn instead.

_Oh, yes, I'm really going to get beat up by someone who can't keep her eyes open,_ Chris pointed out. _You don't stand a chance, Princess._

_Will you stop calling me that already?_ Sarani protested. _And I'm sorry if I'm tired. It's this whole bleeding time thing! I can't help if it I have no energy. You heard Mahtihm._ She paused before adding, _Hey, if you already get your bleeding time, why don't _you_ ever feel like this?_

_Who says I don't? But I'm _really_ good at hiding stuff. You better than anybody should know that._

_True,_ Sarani agreed.

_By the way, thanks for letting me listen in,_ Chris changed the subject, sensing that it was time to let her best friend get some rest. _I'm glad you let me share this with you. Sorry for picking on you about it though. You know I don't really mean anything by it._

_I know,_ Sarani confirmed. _You can't help it that deep down you're just a nasty person. It's hard to fight your nature._

_Ha-ha,_ Chris said. _Real cute, _Princess.

Sarani's only reply was to yawn again.

_Okay, now it's time for you to be your obedient little self and do what your mahtihm told you,_ Chris decided. _Take a nap so that when you try to kick my ohmlah you won't fall asleep in the middle._

_Oh, I'm kicking it all right,_ Sarani insisted. _I don't know how much it will hurt you, but my foot is whacking you where you sit._

_Good luck with that,_ Chris said.

_You're gonna regret ever messing with me!_

_Uh-huh. Sure. Right._

_Either that or I'll lock you in a room with Preston!_

_Oh, now you've gone too far!_ Chris declared. _Prepare to die!_

Although he was only one, Preston had developed a scarily clingy attachment to her. Why, no one seemed to know, but when she was in the room with him, he forgot everyone else, including his own mother. It would be funny if it weren't for the death grip he put on her leg! That kid left her with bruises!

_Not so kapeetoat now, am I?_ Sarani gloated. _Never forget that I have a secret weapon and I know how to use it._

_I thought your secret weapon was your books,_ Chris reminded her.

_Not anymore. Not when I have something so much better._

And then she proceeded to let out a third yawn.

_All right. That's it,_ Chris announced. _You're getting some rest right now. I'll see you later, okay?_

_Okay,_ Sarani agreed.

_Bye._

_Bye, Chris._

And with that, Chris withdrew the mental contact.

Smiling to herself, she shook her head. Sarani may be a woman now, but she had a ton of growing up to do. She thought too many natural things were gross.

And then she began to laugh hysterically again as she thought about how easy it had been to freak her out repeatedly...

((((())))))

"I think there's something wrong with Chris," Milo announced as he walked into the room where Kida was reading.

Her book fell to her lap as her stomach dropped. Chris was usually the last person anyone had to worry about. If Milo was concerned... "Why? What has happened?"

She knew Chris had arrived to visit Sarani about an hour ago, while she and Milo had still been...preoccupied. (They had both thoroughly enjoyed her method of showing him her gratitude...) They had been told of her visit by one of the servants as they had emerged from their private chambers fifteen minutes ago. Milo had gone to belatedly greet her and check on Sarani while she had gone ahead into the family room.

"Well, it-it's the strangest thing," Milo began. "She, um, seems okay at first, but then, well, then she...she starts laughing."

"Laughing?" Kida repeated, raising an eyebrow. Chris and Sarani always laughed a lot when they were together. (And her poor Sarani could use some laughter right now.) "What is so unusual about that?"

"You don't understand," Milo said. "It wasn't normal laughter. It was wild, maniacal, completely-out-of-control laughter! And she started laughing before I even said a single word to her! She-she just took one look at me and she started giggling! She couldn't even finish saying a single sentence! That-that's not like her at all. I'm really worried!"

"No, it is not," Kida agreed, looking up and down her husband's body and trying to determine if there was anything about his appearance that Chris would have found humorous. Not seeing anything unusual, she continued, "And it was just Chris who was laughing like this? Not Sarani?"

"No, Sarani seemed fine," he told her. "Well, I could tell she was _really_ embarrassed by Chris' behavior, but she didn't seem upset or anything. In fact, she kept apologizing for Chris and blamed the laughter on something funny she had read last night."

"Hmm... It sounds like our Saranikash is trying to cover up whatever Chris has gotten herself into," Kida determined. "Though you said she did not seem upset?" Milo shook his head. "No, she seemed okay to me."

"Hmm..." Kida repeated, her mind whirling as she accessed the situation. "Then she cannot possibly be covering up anything. You know as well as I do how easy it is to see when she is trying to hide something from us. She is always clearly upset about was she is doing. No, there is something else going on. And it involves Chris only."

She tried to think of what could possibly be causing Chris to laugh uncontrollably while not affecting Sarani. Chris was very different from Sarani in many, _many_ ways but they had always seemed to agree on what they both found funny. For Chris to be laughing while Sarani wasn't...

"Were you thinking about anything unusual when you went into the room?" she questioned as it occurred to her that perhaps Chris had picked something up from Milo telepathically. They had all known about Chris' abilities for over a year now. Although no one feared Chris violating their minds (it wasn't in her nature), she had told them that if someone was _really_ focused on something, it was projected loud enough that she could sense it without trying.

"Thinking something unusual?" Milo echoed, sounding confused. She waited patiently the few seconds that it took him to realize what she meant. "Oh. No, I, um, don't think so. Nothing that I was completely focused on anyway."

"Are you sure?" Kida pressed, wanting to examine all possibilities before accepting the same unlikely conclusion as he had. If something was truly the matter with Chris, Helga would have noticed it before anyone else. (She was incredibly attuned to her eldest daughter.) "You were not dwelling on what we had just finishing doing?"

Intercepting thoughts of lovemaking would certainly explain Chris' behavior.

Milo turned bright red. "Um, I don't think I was, but, well..."

"Then that is probably what she was laughing at," Kida concluded, confident that she was correct. She smiled at her husband. "I am still thinking about it myself."

Milo's color deepened.

"It would explain why only Chris was laughing," she went on. "How would Sarani know what you were thinking? Only Chris can do that. I am positive that this is what happened.

"I will even prove it to you," she stated firmly, putting her book aside and standing up from her chair. "Come, let us go back to Sarani's room."

"Um," Milo said, his face still crimson, "but if you're thinking about the same thing..."

"I have already banished it from my mind," she informed him, forcing the last of the beautiful images away. "My thoughts are only on checking on both girls."

"O-okay," he managed. "I hope you're right about this."

"I believe I am," she assured him as she walked past him towards the door. "You know as well as I do that Sarani would not be calm if something was truly the matter with Chris. Now, come. You will see that Chris was simply reacting to your thoughts."

Not waiting to see if he was following her (she already knew he was), she traveled the familiar route to her daughter's door.

Once there, she pressed her ear against it to see if she could hear what was going on inside. But the stone was too thick and no sound could be detected unless the occupants were speaking loudly.

Shrugging, she moved away and turned around to see Milo standing behind her.

"I was hoping to ascertain their mood before entering," she explained. "If Chris was just picking up your thoughts as I suspect, it will be best to wait until they are not laughing anyway to see how she reacts to me."

"Sounds like a plan," Milo told her.

"I am going to knock now," she let him know. "Stay out of sight so neither girl will know you're here."

He moved to stand against the wall beside the door frame.

Kida raised her hand and rapped on the door. "Sarani? It's Mahtihm. May I please come in?"

"Sure!" came Sarani's cheerful voice. (Clearly, Chris' visit was doing her much-needed good.)

Looking at Milo, she smiled and then opened the door and walked in.

Chris and Sarani were both seated on the bed, smiling and giggling.

_Oh, well,_ Kida thought, _this will have to do._ Aloud, she spoke, "Good afternoon, girls. How is everything in here?"

"Soopuhk, Matihm," Sarani spoke while Kida noticed Chris beginning to snicker.

_Odd,_ she commented. Chris' reaction was too quick for it to be caused by a stray thought. And she was not thinking about anything other than finding out what was going on with Chris, which was nothing Chris would laugh at even if she detected it.

"Chris, is everything all right?"

Chris continued to giggle. "Of course, Aifohm Kida. Why wouldn't it be?"

Sarani leaned over to murmur something that Kida couldn't hear which only made Chris laugh even harder.

Sarani looked embarrassed just as Milo had said. "I'm sorry, Mahtihm. Chris read something yesterday that she can't get out of her mind."

"S-sorry," Chris managed between laughs. "What-what she said!"

Kida did not know what to make of it. As Milo had told her, this was very unlike Chris. And also as Milo had said, Sarani did not seem at all concerned, just embarrassed, which she took as a good sign.

"How are you feeling, Sweetheart?" she directed at Sarani, ignoring Chris' continuous laughter.

Again, just like Milo had said, Chris seemed unable to control herself. (She was now covering her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter, but it was not making any difference at all.) For someone like Chris, that was something that never happened. It was as if...

A thought occurred to her. There were herbs out there that did not have any medicinal purposes. Herbs that had very unusual affects when ingested. Could Chris have accidentally taken one of these? (Although there were rare cases of people purposely taking these herbs, Chris was not the type who would for any reason.) It would explain _everything._

"Much better, Mahtihm," Sarani answered her question, unaware of what her mother was thinking about.

"That is very good," Kida said with a smile. If she was right, Chris' "illness" would pass in the next day or so. She would have to find a healer as soon as she left and ask if her theory was feasible. "Is there anything you two need?"

Sarani looked over at Chris, who had flopped onto her back as she continued laughing. "Um, I think we're okay. Thanks for asking."

"All right then," Kida said with a nod. "I will leave you two be. I am glad you are feeling better."

"Me too," Sarani agreed. "See you later."

Chris stopped laughing long enough to add her own, "Later!"

Nodding again, Kida turned around and walked out of the room.

"What did I tell you?" Milo immediately spoke as she reentered the hallway, pulling the door closed behind her. "There's something really wrong with her!"

"Not necessarily, my Milo," she countered. "I think I may know what is the matter and it is not very serious."

"Not serious? Are you crazy? She's laughing like a maniac for no reason! How is that not serious?"

"Calm down, my Milo," she soothed him. "The reason I know it is not truly serious is because Sarani is completely unconcerned. You observed this yourself. She is embarrassed, yes, but not worried."

Milo seemed to ponder this. "That's...true," he acknowledged. "She wasn't near tears like she normally is."

"And that is why I am unconcerned as well," Kida asserted. "I am more concerned about how Chris ingested the herbs that are causing this behavior."

"H-herbs?" he repeated, stunned. "Y-you think Chris has been taking herbs?"

"Not on purpose," she corrected him, "but herbs would explain her irrational behavior. We know from Sarani that Chris continues to spent an enormous amount of time in the caves. Perhaps she eats things she finds in them. Is it not possible that there are herbs in the caves that she would not recognize and think were safe to consume?"

"It's possible," he conceded. "Wow. That, um, that would explain it."

"It would," she agreed. "I would like to have her examined by a healer as soon as possible. Perhaps Eyris since Chris is most comfortable with her."

"Should we tell Helga and Brykloap about this?" Milo wanted to know.

"There is no need," Kida waved him off. "If this is accidental as I believe it is, it will not happen again once the herb is identified and found. We do not need to upset her parents for no reason, especially Helga in her condition."

"Good idea," Milo said. "So, do you want to go to Eyris yourself or should I send a messenger?"

"I will go myself," Kida told him. "This is not an emergency and I could use the fresh air. Would you like to accompany me, my husband?"

"Of course," he answered. "Today has been a very good day for keeping you company."

"Ah," she replied, moving closer to him. As she had said, there was no rush to get to Eyris. Chris would be fine as soon as the herbs left her system. They had time for other things... "You are expecting me to show you my gratitude once again, are you not?"

He smiled at her. "Well, maybe not _expecting_, but I wouldn't say no if you offered."

"Hmm," she said, putting her arms around him. "Perhaps you would like it if I showed you my gratitude _before_ we went on our errand?"

"Maybe that would be best," he determined. "Then we wouldn't, you know, be distracted the whole time."

She leaned in and kissed him deeply. "I believe you are right. I suddenly find that I cannot think of anything else I want to be doing."

"Funny. I have the same problem."

She laughed and kissed him once more. "Then, come. Let us take care of this problem before we deal with anything else."

"Good idea!"

She kissed him again before breaking away, grabbing him by the hand, and pulling him back down the hall to their private chambers...

((((())))))

"Guess what your parents are doing right now," Chris suddenly said as she finally regained control of herself.

"I really, really, really, really, _really,_ don't want to know," Sarani informed her. "And how long are you going to keep laughing at my poor parents anyway? They were only trying to go easy on me!"

"Oh, I don't know," Chris thoughtfully replied. "Until you do something even more gulahn than they did?"

"Great!" Sarani grumbled. "That could take years!"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, _Princess!_"

"Did I already tell you how much I hate you?"

"Repeatedly," Chris assured her. "As I was saying, want to guess what your parents are doing this very second?"

"No!"

** _ The End _**


End file.
